New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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