I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I cockslap morals
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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