Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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