and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize