dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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