new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
