Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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