carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
