I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Its about making memories worth repressing
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
