so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
