Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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