I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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