im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
