Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
You need a sexual gate keeper
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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