I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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