Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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