My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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