Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
