Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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