2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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