why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
