I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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