His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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