I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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