peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize