It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Randomize
