thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize