Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
