90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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