So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
