She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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