question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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