whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
