i barfeds in our rink
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
