ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
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Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I want her autograph on my taint
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
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I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
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