shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
