Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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