Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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