I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
