all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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