Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
