I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize