Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
