Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
