I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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