we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
only you would photoshop your dick
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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