What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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