she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
