I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I need to sanitize my soul.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
