I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
The air taste purple.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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