nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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