Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I would ride that face into the sunset
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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