this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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