he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
