pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
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At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
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I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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