i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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