I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Alive.
So much puke
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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