i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
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