If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize