I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
