well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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